Build Your Own Crib
By Damian | January 4, 2009
One thing I wanted to do for my firstboard was build a rocking cradle or crib. I know, I know, its very “Hollywood”, but I thought it would be a really fun project for me, it would save us a stack of money (as they are expensive) and be a really nice addition from the heart, for our nursery.
Unfortunately, after doing the research, life just caught up to me and I never managed to find the time. So I am starting again for my second, even before pregnancy, hoping I’ll get it done in time 
If you are this way inclined also, I’ll post the resources I find a bit later, which you may also find useful.
Topics: An Expectant Father | No Comments »
New Things - Infancy Development
By Damian | January 4, 2009
One of the best things about fatherhood is watching your children grow, particularly in the first 12 months. Babies can be pretty unresponsive when young and many Dad’s think that this makes them not much fun. I don’t subscribe to this line of thought though, I don’t believe you need to have your children responding to you and interacting with you to enjoy them. You should be able to delight in them by just observing them.
For example, everyday at the moment, my 3 month daughter is making new sounds, particularly when she finds something amusing. Every little sound I’ve never heard from her is such a surprise and such a joy. Further, it lets me know she is growing and maturing even at 3 months. What a wonderful thing. If you’d like more information on early development and changes in infants, here is a pretty good source on information
Its pretty easy to enjoy these moments, you don’t even need to do anything, just sit back and watch. Its a little bit like TV if you think about it.
Topics: A New Father | No Comments »
New Years Resolutions
By Damian | December 30, 2008
I’ve never been much of a New Year’s resolutions kind of guy. However, I do get to the end of each year a little contemplative, reflecting over the year that was, thinking about whether it panned out as I’d hoped and how I could have done it better. I typically end up with a perspective of what is important for the new year and a subconcious view on how I can go about giving priority to those important things.
As a new dad in 2008, my perception of “important” this year is vastly different to that of last year. This year my priorities are simply
- The health of my family
- Through example, raise my daughter to be the best person she can
- The happiness of my family
Shouldn’t be too hard, and thinking about these things sure takes the pressure off from all the doom and gloom we ready every day about the global credit crisis etc
Topics: A New Father, Fatherhood | No Comments »
The BabyBjorn - A Fathers Toy
By Damian | December 29, 2008
Hey Dads, I just wanted to give you an up date on the BabyBjörn range of baby carriers. We did a summary review of them some time ago at the following page on our website: BabyBjörn baby carriers. I used mine extensively during the first 3 months of our baby’s life. My usage is tapering off a bit now, but in those early days I loved it. I found the following were the best points:
- Once the infant is all tucked in, your hands are free for everything else you need them for
- Carrying a child in any other way puts strain on your back/neck due to necessary leaning. There are some “new muscles” you’ll find when starting to use this product, but it is undoubtedly the most comfortable way to carry a child. My record was 7 hours straight, with one 10 minute feed break in the middle. We were at a Gold Coast Theme Park
- Your baby will really start to love Dad. Within 2 months, I was the only one who could use the BabyBjörn. Whenever anyone else put it on it would end in tears, something to do with my smell I think.
- All the other women around love you.
It proved to be a bit of a chick magnet for me. My spouse kept a very close eye on me ha ha.
Here is a picture of me in action with the BabyBjörn. As you can see, it was very important to have my hand free, pity I still couldn’t putt that ball in the hole!
Topics: Products For Fathers | No Comments »
What Are You Protecting Them From
By Damian | December 29, 2008
One of the things that has caused many a disagreement between my spouse and I is her need to protect our baby from a bunch of things and my need to get her out and introduce her to the world. Mum wants to wrap the baby up in cotton wool and insulate her from the world, while Dad wants to take it all off and rough house the baby so it gets a taste for life. This I have found occurs in many relationships, its actually quite common. Personally I believe that having the two extremes creates a good balance, where the baby ends up getting the middle ground.
From my experiences, an example was the swimming pool. We live near a dangerous surf beach so its important to me to get all my children water savvy as soon as I can. I wanted to get our first child in the pool in her second week, my partner wanted me to wait till 3 months down the track. This I thought was ridiculous, given only 2 weeks before, the child was breathing water in the womb. My idea was the sooner I wade with her, the easier it will be to get her familiar with being in water.
The point of this post is not the outcome of this example though, it is how we developed a method of working out whether we were being over protective or not. What we do now at these impasses is ask “What are we protecting her from?”. If there is something reasonable my wife wants to protect the baby from, I defer to her better judgement. In this example, it was getting wet. Getting wet isn’t something we need to protect our children from, so we recognised this was a case of being over-protective and I got to swim with my daughter.
If you are in a situation where this type of thing keeps popping up in your fatherhood experience, the question posed above may be just what you are looking for.
Topics: A New Father, Fatherhood | No Comments »
Fatherhood and Work Life Balance
By Damian | December 27, 2008
The new financial pressures that arrive with a baby can cause issues for a Dad. As men, we like to be the infallible provide and protectors of our loved ones. And this may mean, in our mind, sacrificing ourselves and our lifestyles to work the extra hours to provide for our kids lifestyles. We want to give them everything. So we could find ourselves spending more time at work, thinking we are doing a good thing for our children.
We need to remember though, that once the necessities are taken care of (Ie. sustenance and shelter) the best thing we can give our children is our time and our love. Extra hours at work often ends up being misplaced love. Sure, the extra dollars mean we can buy a new train set or barbie doll house, which ends up being a nice thing to distract them from recognising we are not there with them.
It is vitally important to our childrens growth that we find a balance of our work and home time, so we see our children and become a big part of their life. And by big part, I mean in the temporal sense. Spend the time with your kids. Make that the default. Its more inportant than the new toys which the hours at work buys them.
Topics: A New Father | No Comments »
The Finance of Fatherhood; Nappies
By Damian | December 25, 2008
One of the biggest expenses a new father faces are nappies. They cost a small fortune. Here are a few tips for reducing the burden of the expanded family at day 1, by looking at the way you purchase nappies.
- Start looking at buying nappies before your baby is born. Pre buy them while you both are still earning, as part of your normal grocery shopping
- Only buy them when they are on special, and then buy up big. Nappies are often discounted to up to 50%. And given how expensive they are, this can represent a huge savings over the course of a baby’s nappy life.
- When pre-buying nappies, get some newborn ones but concentrate on the next size up. Our baby was large when she was born. She outgrew the pre-purchased newborn nappies at week 2. You just don’t know how many of the first size you’ll need, yet you can predict the larger sizes to some extent.
- If you can really be bothered, buy cloth nappies and wash them. Apparently you can save $1000 a year this way (although I cannot verify this figure, it is one which is thrown around a bit)
For more tips on the finance of fatherhood and family, visit our finance page here: Fatherhood and Finances
Topics: A New Father, Fatherhood, Fatherhood and Finances | No Comments »
Christmas and Fatherhood
By Damian | December 23, 2008
This is my first year as a father. I have to admit already, it is a lot more fun observing and participating in Christmas as the patriarch of the family, as opposed to being one of the kids in my parents family. I’m not sure why, it must be something to do with that spirit of giving everyone talks about. I mean, my role at Christmas was always enjoying seeing peoples reactions to the presents I gave them (Ie. receiving appreciation) and enjoying receiving the gifts they gave me.
Now I just enjoy spoiling my child and watching the joy other people get out of spoiling my child. At 3 months old, she doesn’t know whats going on yet so there is absolutely nothing coming my way. I guess we really just don’t understand what it means to be selfless until we have children.
To all the Dad’s out there, have a wonderfull Christmas 2008.
Topics: A New Father, Fatherhood | No Comments »
Your Own House In Order
By Damian | December 23, 2008
One thing that many people don’t really appreciate about raising infants (the ones that can’t speak or reason yet), is that when they want something, they wait for no man. If they want a feed, they cry. If they get tired and grumpy, they grizzle and cry, cold, they cry, too hot, they cry. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, if you don’t put it aside and attend to the child, the noise will escalate and it will be harder to placate the child when you get to them.
Typically we are lucky. Typically Mum bears the brunt of dealing with these times. On the occasion it falls to us, it doesn’t matter if you are changing the oil in the car, arguing with your wife, nursing a hangover, not dealing with the infant will create a bigger situation. My advice, put it aside, settle the child and come back to it later. Even if it takes 3 hours.
And find some perspective, most things (apart from a wailing infant) really can wait the extra time.
Topics: A New Father, Fatherhood | No Comments »
Those Long Loud Nights
By Damian | December 22, 2008
I’ve just come off one of those long nights. Tonight I am at home on my own. “Mom” is out playing tennis. Our baby is 3 months old now so I am really encouraging Mom to get out and have a break from motherhood as much as she can. Just giving her the chance to clear her mind, freshen up and come back a happy, energetic person. A happy Mom is a good Mom I believe. This for her boils down to 2 nights of tennis a week. Which leaves me alone with our 3 month daughter, twice a week for 3 hours or so, without breasts as a back up plan. Not a huge sacrifice for a more harmonious home.
Tonight was one of those nights though when nothing went right fo me. Our daugher was asleep when Mon left for tennis at 7:15pm. This is a routine we’ve managed to create for her, asleep before 7:30pm each night. However, 15 minutes after Mom had left, little Grace (the daughter) woke. Tonight, she just wanted Mom I think. For at least half an hour nothing would calm her disconsolate wailing. No matter what I tried. Such a pleasant feeling listening to that for such an extended period of time. It is so easy to start feeling frustration and anger at such an agited little bundle, if you don’t watch yourself.
Now after half an hour of crying, babies start to get tired, especially this late at night. Thats not to say they calm down and go to sleep. Not by a long shot, often this type of crying can go on for much longer. 3 hours sometimes, maybe even longer. But in Grace’s example, she tends to get a bit easier to settle when she starts to tire out.
Tonight I managed to settle her, first by singing my way through an old Australian country ballad called Tie Me Kangaroo Down by Rolf Harris. A relative gave us the picture book with the music DVD. Its a bit of a sing-a-long which I now know the words for. Amazon have a few of Rolf Harris products here if you are interested, he has a few pretty cool and unique childrens books and songs.:
Then, once I settled her, I put her to sleep by rocking her in my arms for 2 and a half hours and singing a little ditty I learned at school - piccolo-mini. (I can send you this too if you want it, I don’t think you’ll find this one on Amazon :))
The point of writing about this though is the point I was making above. It is easy to start feeling anger and fustration when you cannot sooth your upset child. Even resentment at the spouse who is out having fun. One thing I have learned about such feelings though is that when trying to put a baby to sleep, they are so counter-productive. They do absolutely nothing inasmuch as putting your baby to sleep is concerned. All they do is upset you. And how can you be soothing if you are upset.
So I overcome these fellings by checking off the following points:
- I remember that all babies cry, thats just what they do. This is nothing abnormal or even different
- I remember she’s crying because she’s upset, then I accept the challenge of finding out what is that is upsetting her
- I recognise the opportunity to resolve what is upsetting her is in fact an honour that only I have tonight. No one else in the whole world has this opportunity tonight.
- I then remind myself that the time I am spending now ,soothing my baby when she is so upset, is already laying the foundation of a love she will understand, as the love that means she has the confidence to come to me about anything that goes wrong in her life.
When I check those things off the list, I develop the patience to rock her through a week of disconsolate wailing. And it is such a satisfying feeling when after all the tears, I did manage to sooth her, without a pair of breasts as a back up plan. Really, it leaves me feeling this is what life is about.
Topics: A New Father | No Comments »
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